brianreeder.com - I do what I want!

I am addicted to you. I mean really addicted. I’m constantly searching the web for great new content to submit to you.

With that said, please get rid of the “share” function within your site (or send to, or shout). It’s not that I don’t like it, it’s that the function has become utterly worthless. The users that have spent a LOT of time and effort building their profiles (and bettering YOUR SITE) have large networks of friends built up (as you asked us to do). So what do we get for all this time and effort? A penalization. If we “share” our content, it might as well be the death knell for it.

The funny part is, we are the people that are first to market with the best content. Not because we’re lucky or happen upon it, but because you’ve taught us to be. Because in the past, being first to market had it’s benefits. Now, the benefit goes to the guy that hasn’t used the site before.

So, regardless if you’re selling, buying, trying, or dying- please give us at least a LITTLE credit for spending the amount of time that we do on your sites.

Thank you.

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So many people spend a lot of money trying to lose weight, gain weight, get fit, gain muscle, lose fat, etc. I personally spend $30 bucks a month on a 24 Hour Fitness membership. I use it, but I know I’m one of few that does. I know a girl that spent $40 a month on a gym membership she didn’t use. For 3 years. Let’s do the math.

36 months x $40 a month = $1440

Her reasoning for keeping it: she MIGHT start going again and spent $200 to sign up initially. She said she’s went to the gym for about 2 months, 4 times a week. So:

9 weeks x 4 times per week = 36 visits

$1440 in monthly charges + $200 sign up fee / 36 visits = $45.56 per visit

So this girl paid more than her monthly bill per actual gym visit. And I know she’s not alone.

Now my idea: Many people are shifting to a non-gym workout regiment these days, some of the activities being:

Cardio-respiratory: walking, running, swimming, cycling, sports, etc
Muscular: swimming, sports, cycling, push-ups, pull-ups, sit-ups, etc

I know the guys here at db clay are doing push-ups sporadically throughout the workday. All of these exercises lack one pretty obvious thing - you don’t need machines to do them. At most you’re looking at investing in a bicycle, a pair of shoes, possibly a football/basketball/etc., maybe paying to go to the pool. But you these are usually one time fees.

They do lack one thing - weights. You can get the workout in else ware (notably swimming), but weights will help you bulk up, or gain muscle to lose fat. Body weight is great once you’re already fit, but if you’re looking for increased results you need to up the ante. So my thought is, instead of buying that membership to use machines/dumbbells four times a year, just buy rocks. I have a couple of reasons for suggesting this.

1. Rocks are cheap.
2. Rocks are heavy. (weight)
3. You can control how much rocks weigh (get different sizes)
4. Rocks are functional weight.

Why is functional weight important? Well to some it’s not, but I would much prefer to do something I may be doing in the future (doing chores, working outside, manly things, etc.) than doing bench press all day. Plus, lifting rocks works many muscle groups at the same time, stabilizers and major groups. So you’re getting a better workout, faster.

So get out there and get some rocks, they don’t require a membership and will always be there for you!

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Dearest SU,

I love you. I really really do. I’ve been a top stumbler since December, and have been in love with almost everything about the site since well before that. BUT, that being said, I want you to do a few things for me:

Let me have more than 200 friends. - To be honest I’ve never understood the cap. At least let me “prove myself” by stumbling a certain number of pages, then let me have a million if I want them. Someone please enlighten me if they know the reasoning behind this, and believe in it. I have more than 200 people I know within the community at this point, and would love to be able to send them all pages I’m interested in.

Make “Education” a category - Or at least a tag for crap-sakes. Not “Educational”, but education. There are a lot of pages related to this that I find, and I feel a twinge of pain putting them under some other (less appropriate) category.

Give me a indication of online status from the send to page - I always want to share stuff with people online, and don’t want to go to my friends page to see if they’re online. And a friend filter would NOT hurt either.

I appreciate you SU, you mean a lot to me. You’ve been good to me, I’ve found a lot of really cool stuff because of you, but I want more. Call me a guy, call me a nerd, but I’m just trying to bring the best out of you.

After all this is over I think we should get an apartment together.

Love,
Brian (Brianreeder)

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I don’t care if this is fake or has already been posted, it still made me laugh. This is an email I received from a good friend:

“After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Samsel, Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1 June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they weren’t looking.

2 July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals

3 July 7:Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.

4 July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, “Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.”

5 August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M’s on layaway.

6 August 14:Moved a “CAUTION - WET FLOOR” sign to a carpeted area.

7 August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he’d invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8 August 23:When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, “Why can’t you people just leave me alone?”

9 September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10:While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3:Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ” Mission Impossible” theme.

12. October 6:In the auto department, he practiced his “Madonna look” by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18:Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled “PICK ME! PICK ME!”

14. October 21:When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed “OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!”

And last, but not least 15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here!’”

Comedy.

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Almost a whole pot. I guess it wasn’t the BEST idea to brew an entire pot when I knew I’d be at work for a full two and a half hours by myself. But hey, when in Rome. On that note, here are 5 ways coffee is bad for you, and 5 (extremely unwise) justifications I’ve made up to continue drinking it. As an FYI and an update, as I’ve written this my leg won’t stop shaking, I’ve had to continuously go back and edit since I’ve missed spelled damn near every word, and all I want is more. I think I could run a marathon right now, but also think if I did, my heart would explode. I’ll hold off for now.

It causes depression + anxiety.
Bad: I hate the coffee jitters. And damned if I keep getting them every time I drink the stuff. You’d think after a while I’d build a tolerance and be able to mainline the stuff. As that isn’t the case, coffee can keep you up at night, make you anxious, and possibly depressed. How? Not a clue.
Good: If I stay up later I can accomplish more, and feel better about myself. Plus I could potentially make more money by taking on a side job with my extra waking hours, and money makes everyone happy, right?

It can lead to Coronary Heart Disease
Bad: At least that’s what Wikipedia says.
Good: But Wikipedia is a user-edited site, and I’m sure there are some tea executives that make sure coffee gets a bad rap. So really, it doesn’t cause heart disease, but some slick businessman wants me to think it does. In reality, I’m “sticking it to the man” by drinking this holy black goodness.

It causes unrelated memory loss:
Bad: It does what?
Good: I love lamp.

I causes you to poop immediately:
Bad: If I’m in a situation where pooping is socially or physically or lawfully unacceptable, this could be an issue.
Good: You feel like a million bucks

Coffee can stain your teeth:
Bad: You don’t want to smile at someone and get a revolted look back. Not attractive or appealing. If you’re single, you want to have a winning smile, not look like a corn cob when you crack a grin.
Good: Crest Whitestrips exist.

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