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I Drank A LOT of Coffee This Morning.

April 11th, 2008 Comments(2)

coffee! Almost a whole pot. I guess it wasn’t the BEST idea to brew an entire pot when I knew I’d be at work for a full two and a half hours by myself. But hey, when in Rome. On that note, here are 5 ways coffee is bad for you, and 5 (extremely unwise) justifications I’ve made up to continue drinking it. As an FYI and an update, as I’ve written this my leg won’t stop shaking, I’ve had to continuously go back and edit since I’ve missed spelled damn near every word, and all I want is more. I think I could run a marathon right now, but also think if I did, my heart would explode. I’ll hold off for now.

It causes depression + anxiety.
Bad: I hate the coffee jitters. And damned if I keep getting them every time I drink the stuff. You’d think after a while I’d build a tolerance and be able to mainline the stuff. As that isn’t the case, coffee can keep you up at night, make you anxious, and possibly depressed. How? Not a clue.
Good: If I stay up later I can accomplish more, and feel better about myself. Plus I could potentially make more money by taking on a side job with my extra waking hours, and money makes everyone happy, right?

It can lead to Coronary Heart Disease
Bad: At least that’s what Wikipedia says.
Good: But Wikipedia is a user-edited site, and I’m sure there are some tea executives that make sure coffee gets a bad rap. So really, it doesn’t cause heart disease, but some slick businessman wants me to think it does. In reality, I’m “sticking it to the man” by drinking this holy black goodness.

It causes unrelated memory loss:
Bad: It does what?
Good: I love lamp.

I causes you to poop immediately:
Bad: If I’m in a situation where pooping is socially or physically or lawfully unacceptable, this could be an issue.
Good: You feel like a million bucks

Coffee can stain your teeth:
Bad: You don’t want to smile at someone and get a revolted look back. Not attractive or appealing. If you’re single, you want to have a winning smile, not look like a corn cob when you crack a grin.
Good: Crest Whitestrips exist.

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Why I’m So Excited “The Office” Is Back

April 10th, 2008 Comments(1)

dwight The short answer: this guy right here.

A bit longer of an answer: because it’s the best program on television. I am an avid fan of the origianl BBC version of “The Office” (if you haven’t seen it I have no respect for you) and believe very few remakes go as well as this one did. In a way, I like the NBC version better. By no means am I discounting the gut-wrenching bone-dry wildly awkward humor of the BBC Office. Believe me, the first time I saw it (given by my roommate Tyler as a Xmas present, gracias) I was howling. Even having seen each episode countless times, I still get that awkward feeling in the pit of my stomach when I watch. We all know that feeling, it’s the same one you get when you’re friends are dating and you’re all having dinner together and they’re mad at each other. The delicious pasta turns to dust in your mouth as the snide comments pour out of their mouths like slop to a trough. I digress. The better feature of NBC’s O-fess: Dwight Schrute. Mackenzie Crook did a stand up job in the BBC episodes, playing the awkward side kick to perfection. But, Rainn Wilson truly made Dwight his own. In every sense of the word he owns the role of the awkward-power-hungry-faithful-simpleton-farmer-ninja. After 4 seasons all I want is more.

The months of it’s absence were spent primarily in hibernation for me, coming out only for food and strong drink. It was a dark time in my life and I don’t want to talk about it. But, now that “The Office” is back, life can resume. Birds are again chirping, skunks are smelling, chipmunks are wondering if they left the gas on. And I- again- am my usual, hilarious, interesting, amazing self. So take strength in my jay-z-like return to humor, life, and daylight. It will be a good year.

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The Times, They Are A-Changin’

April 09th, 2008 Comments(0)

To whom it may concern (aka ye faithful that read this blog),

First and foremost, an apology. For the lack of consistent posting, for the lack of direction, for the random crap, for the experiments. I may just be tooting my own horn thinking anyone cares, but I really don’t care either way.

Second, a promise. This blog’s URL is my name. It will start acting as such - a reflection of me. My writing can be found at strikeyourcolors.com, which, as Benjamin puts, is the highest traffic site on the web. Google and Yahoo pale in comparison. This will mean that the content right here will be just as random, but with the common theme of being about me. Again, probably tooting my own horn thinking I lead an interesting enough life for anyone to care about, but I really do. Ha.

Third, the direction. My travels, videos, photos, thoughts, aspirations, etc. Too long this site has simply been a testing ground for social media methods. Oh, those will be included too. Somehow I’ve shawshanked my way deep into the social community, and I have some ideas/thoughts about it.

Lastly, a big GRACIAS for reading. Anyone following my blog is appreciated, and will be monetarily compensated when I win the lottery. Bear that in mind when you leave all your comments on every post. EVERY post. Happy surfing/stumbling/digging/redditing/mixxing/sphinning/etc.

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