brianreeder.com - I do what I want!

Brown does not equal Green
Green does not equal Grey
Grey does not equal Blue Curacao
Blue Curacao does equal Brown
As does Mexican omelet and Biscuits and Gravy
I guess that equals Grey too.

Make sense?!? It shouldn’t

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Almost a whole pot. I guess it wasn’t the BEST idea to brew an entire pot when I knew I’d be at work for a full two and a half hours by myself. But hey, when in Rome. On that note, here are 5 ways coffee is bad for you, and 5 (extremely unwise) justifications I’ve made up to continue drinking it. As an FYI and an update, as I’ve written this my leg won’t stop shaking, I’ve had to continuously go back and edit since I’ve missed spelled damn near every word, and all I want is more. I think I could run a marathon right now, but also think if I did, my heart would explode. I’ll hold off for now.

It causes depression + anxiety.
Bad: I hate the coffee jitters. And damned if I keep getting them every time I drink the stuff. You’d think after a while I’d build a tolerance and be able to mainline the stuff. As that isn’t the case, coffee can keep you up at night, make you anxious, and possibly depressed. How? Not a clue.
Good: If I stay up later I can accomplish more, and feel better about myself. Plus I could potentially make more money by taking on a side job with my extra waking hours, and money makes everyone happy, right?

It can lead to Coronary Heart Disease
Bad: At least that’s what Wikipedia says.
Good: But Wikipedia is a user-edited site, and I’m sure there are some tea executives that make sure coffee gets a bad rap. So really, it doesn’t cause heart disease, but some slick businessman wants me to think it does. In reality, I’m “sticking it to the man” by drinking this holy black goodness.

It causes unrelated memory loss:
Bad: It does what?
Good: I love lamp.

I causes you to poop immediately:
Bad: If I’m in a situation where pooping is socially or physically or lawfully unacceptable, this could be an issue.
Good: You feel like a million bucks

Coffee can stain your teeth:
Bad: You don’t want to smile at someone and get a revolted look back. Not attractive or appealing. If you’re single, you want to have a winning smile, not look like a corn cob when you crack a grin.
Good: Crest Whitestrips exist.

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